The
term mail order brides is something of a misnomer. It has been applied to the
practice of arranged marriages which existed long before the the era of mail
order trading. Of course people rarely thought of getting a wife according to
precise specifications that way but the term was taken from popular discourse
and applied to the practice of trying to find a partner in a practical way
because it has an amusing ring to it, and also a sub text of disapproval.
This
probably is derived from the view that marriages should be entered into as a
consequence of romantic attachment. In some cultures it has long been the
practice to advertise ones availability to marry publicly. The accepted
practice in no way entails wrapping up a girl and posting her to a purchaser.
Nor does it imply that marriage is a loveless contract.
Many couples in
cultures where arranged marriages are the norm fall deeply in love. However,
there are very delicate and intricate procedures to be gone through before a
marriage is finally negotiated. Usually family members are consulted and
elaborate cognizance taken of financial and professional circumstances.
A
qualified lawyer or rich business man can consider himself an eligible
bachelor. An unqualified person with a low paying job is most likely to find a
wife from a similar social and economic background, if at all. In the higher
echelons of western society arranged marriages have also been the
unacknowledged norm whilst lip service has been paid to the desirability of
romantic relationships.
It is well known that the European aristocracy have
until recently been married according to political and economic criteria.
Romance has actually been a more common reason for marriage among the lower
classes in western society.
However there are many instances of brave young men
and women from middle and upper classes who have sought to defy social
pressures and marry the person of their independent choice. Online buying and
selling is now the new mail order industry but the names seems to stick to
online marriage sites.
They have replaced the newspaper advertisements that
used to serve the same purposes but the websites are a very great improvement.
More information is in them and there is room for dispassionate thought and
withdrawal from a safe distance if one's nerve fails.
Once details of gender,
and age have been filled in a registered member can be directed to hundreds of
pictures, each with some salient details. This is a great deal more economical
than was the case when emissaries had to be sent around the world to negotiate.
One can now search globally from ones lap top.
A compromise between arranged
marriages and romantic liaisons appears to have been reached. Online marriage
agencies offer improved elements of both without losing the essential
excitement and hopes inherent in marriage. Finding a life partner has always been a risky
business.
Although the Internet does allow one a much greater choice, risks
remain, just as they always have. Mail order brides are not products but
complicated and often beautiful people. Good marriage agencies minimize the
risks involved in finding the perfect person.
